When The Doctors Tell You What You Don't Want To Hear

Let me start this post by saying that right now there are no words to describe how I feel. To me the world has stopped for a couple of days. On Tuesday the doctors told us that Caroline's lymphangioma is worse that what they had originally thought. Her heart is functioning like it is supposed to now and at this time there is not fluid surrounding her heart or in her lungs which is great news. When the doctor came into the room and said, "I want you to think about how well Caroline is doing today while I go through this." my heart dropped. The tears filled my eyes although I was determined not to cry. After all, we knew Caroline had this special need so I should have been prepared......right? My heart and mind were supposed to be ready to hear this...right? Wrong! As she began to explain what was going on inside her body the tears filled up until my eyes just couldn't hold them I turned around to look at Brad and then there they went. I listened and cried and listened some more and cried some more. The doctors explained to us that the lymphangioma or tumors that she has are benign, but there is a possibility if they continue to grow they might interfere with some of her main organs. After hearing all the information it was time for me to ask the question that had been on my mind since the doctors came into the room. I couldn't find the words, my heart was broken, but I knew it had to be asked. "Could this be life threatening for her?" Then I heard the answer I surely didn't want to hear, "Yes, it could be, but there are adults who have lived long active lives." The doctors then told us about a medication that she will be taking soon that might stop the growth or even reduce what is there. Our hope right now is that this medication works for our Caroline and that she is able to tolerate it. Today, Caroline is doing great and is so full of life. I looked down at my precious girl who had already been through so much and I began to ask why in world she had to be put through this. How is this fair? As I walked out of the doctors office on Tuesday I was in disbelief......I still am. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this and what it means for her. I do know one thing right now and that is she is a fighter. She is one of the most strong willed kids I have ever seen and I've been around a lot of kids. This time those characteristics just might pay off for her. With all this being said we are in need of your prayers. So when the doctors tell you what you don't want to hear you have to keep going, cherish every day and trust that God is pulling you down this path for a reason.