Is it really Christmas already?

The boys are all snug in their beds and Santa has come and gone for this year. This has been a different kind of Christmas for me because of having to prepare to leave for China just two short days from now. I usually love Christmas, love the shopping, love the movies, love the lights, love getting together, but this year it seems like my mind is just in a different place. I've tried to be here for the boys, but its been difficult and to be honest I've struggled with it a lot. I feel like I've let them down in some way. I guess you call that mom guilt and it seems like I've had plenty of that lately. On a positive note I'm getting close to being ready for this trip. This is our last Christmas without Caroline and for that we can celebrate! Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!